No, this entry has nothing to do with that TV musical (though I really enjoyed its first season and I’m actually looking forward to its second, thanks to Jack Davenport).
Think the Incredible Hulk and we’re on the same page.
No me faca com fome. Voce no gostara de me quando eu estou com fome.
For those who may have forgotten Ed Norton’s amazing take on the green guy, what he said was, “Don’t make me hungry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m hungry.” Of course, Banner was having a difficult time with his Portuguese back then, hence his confusion with hunger and anger, but if I may just add, furioso (angry) is a long way from fome (hungry) in Portuguese. His confusion was in his mother tongue, not in the target language.
But I digress. I’m just suddenly reminded of this monstrous being as I now find myself wanting to smash things. No, not because of hunger, though I’ve also been known to turn into a monster once I feel those nasty hunger pangs. This time it’s not hunger, trust me. Anger doesn’t even come close.
Wrath is more like it, I guess.
I don’t want to go into the details; they will most surely bore you to death. Let’s just say I don’t like how things are going on right now. My dislike of certain people is once again coming to a boil. My prejudices (borne out of my dislike of certain people) are becoming so hard to bottle up. My pride, oh my pride is the worst of the lot. It’s beyond human measure, and it is now beyond my control. I think my wrath is just about ready to control me.
Let it be known I’m not very fond of people to begin with. I don’t like being around people that much. I know it sounds completely off, for some of you are quite familiar with my line of work, with my passion, and with the things I do on the side; and all these things: work, passion, and on the side tasks involve me being around people constantly, on a daily basis even. How can I dislike being around people? Well, it is a tough act to play. I deserve an Oscar for doing it oh so naturally.
You see, I’m extremely shy. Do I hear guffaws from my readers? Well go right ahead. I’ve heard those before, those sounds of disbelief. Imagine the look I get from people, some of them I even consider to be dear friends, when I tell them just that. I’ve gotten used to it, don’t worry. I guess very few people truly know me. And those very few would in fact tell you that what most people generally consider as my intimidating, snobby aura is actually my shyness in its twisted form. It’s my way of overcompensating for it, and I’ve learned to live with it. I’ve gotten better at it. No, not the shyness, but the overcompensating part. No biggie.
Why am I suddenly on a wrath path, then? What’s with this desire to smash?
I don’t know.
Okay, maybe I do; I just don’t want to go into the details, for again, I’m quite certain they will bore you to death and beyond. Let’s just say I’m tired. There are things that just tick me off the wrong way, and sometimes, these terrible things that tick me off are actually not things but people.
And I want to smash them to bits. Sometimes.
You know, just so they’d wake up from their humdrum lives and quit bothering my already volatile universe. It’s so hard to keep one’s inner peace and sanity, as I’m certain you, my dear reader, already know. Or don’t you? Don’t tell me you’re one of the ticks, oh dear gods. If you are, do me a favor and smash your face against the keyboard. Wait, if it’s a wee tablet, drop the tablet and smash your face on the wall. It’s more painful that way.
Or maybe I just need to be quiet. While I’ve been on a personal quest to silence myself amidst all the noise in this world, I don’t think I’ve been true to form. I’ve been yakking endlessly here and on other online venues. It’s just not right. It’s not fair to my lips.
Perhaps once I’ve really learned how to be quiet, then all these. . . ticks will disappear. I don’t know if there’s any logic to it, but a little sacrifice should count for something, right? I don’t want to learn how to live with the ticks. It’s so damn tiresome. I want them to go away.
I want to smash them to oblivion.