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…or so I claim.

They’re watching. (Photo taken at Hyde Park, Sydney. This work, called Friendly Billboards, is part of several exhibitions for Art and About.)

Sometimes I really feel like I don’t live a normal life. But what is normal anyway? I Plurked this blog title a few hours ago and Mark’s reply really got me thinking. So what clued me in to this “revelation”? Is it because on a Friday night I am in front of the computer and not out drinking with friends? Who are my friends anyway? These past few years, I feel like I’ve been closer to my online friends compared to those I met in real life first. Not that I’ve turned my back on my real life friends, no. (Okay, that didn’t come out right. All my friends are real. No more imaginary friends for me, I swear! My doctor made me give them up.)

Before I go on, I must clarify that by online friends, I don’t mean random strangers that I happen to interact with online. I actually know these people in real life too, although some of them I first met online. And when I say real friends, I mean friends that I can talk to face to face. Don’t get me wrong, I still see them every chance I get, but I must admit that those instances are becoming fewer and far between. Maybe I’m becoming a hermit? I think it’s always been in my character to withdraw into myself. I am an introvert, after all, even if not a lot of people agree with me on this. I look forward to weekends when I can have the house to myself and do whatever I want. That usually involves cleaning the house and dancing around the living room. Dear God, am I that boring?

Every once in a while, I crawl out from under the rock that I live in and do stuff. I go out with friends. I hang out and watch movies. I attend photo walks and go to concerts and shows. I have human contact when it suits me or when I’ve had enough of talking to myself.

This got me thinking that really, my online life started with joining Pinoy Harry Potter (PHP). And now, a large part of my life revolves around PHP, whether I care to admit it or not. Do you think maybe PHP is the cause of this mini meltdown and self-evaluation? Is my life really being enriched by putting so much time and effort into this organisation? I don’t know if I can answer that question objectively right now. If I were to suddenly pull away from PHP, would I still have a life or have I let this group define who I am and what I do with what little free time I have? I wonder…

*This post has no resolution, no conclusion. I just needed to offload some thoughts.*

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