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Let me just start out by saying that I am not mushy. I wrinkle my nose at people who flaunt their displays of affection in public. They make me uncomfortable. As is tradition, V-Day will be the day when the entire planet will implode into a big ball of red and white barf-fest. No, I’m not being bitter. I am stating a fact. After all, I once was in a relationship or two and did partake in V-Day celebrations. 

My last serious relationship ended a decade ago and I’ve not dated or seriously liked anyone since then. Sure, there have been crushes here and there  but it never went beyond silly flirting. To be very honest, I’m over it. I mean, aren’t I too old for those games? It’s either, if you like me, you tell me now and we can skip all the awkward to-ing and fro-ing or…wait, I lost my train of thought.

Valentine’s Day dates. I’m trying to recall my most memorable ones. There weren’t many. I do remember one time I went out on a Valentine “date” with one of my Geology professors. He was only a few years older than me and it wasn’t really a date. I mean, not really. And just to clarify, at the time of the said date, he wasn’t my teacher anymore.  And if you must know, I aced his class. :p We just wanted to go out with a few friends and the guy I really liked at that time was so non-committal [read: he had a girlfriend]. Anyway, I had to reassure him that it was okay for him to take me out on a date and that the other guy wouldn’t mind. I remember he bought me roses even when he didn’t really have to. I thought that was sweet. I don’t even remember where we ate but I remember that we went to the UP Fair afterwards. I liked that night. I had fun. And I made the other guy so jealous he ditched his girlfriend and drove me home. It wasn’t my intention but it just happened. Yay, me! Eventually, jealous guy and I became a couple but I don’t really remember if we were still together the following Valentine’s Day.

Then I had another boyfriend and our relationship lasted a bit longer so we were able to celebrate a few February 14s together. Our celebrations were pretty boring, though. We’d just have dinner out with my mom and her then boyfriend and then hang out at the house. Ten years ago, this boyfriend and I broke up. It was a pretty bad break-up and it took me years – yes, years! – to get over it. One day, I finally did and I’ve never thought about coupledom or V-day celebrations or relationships as intensely as I did that last decade…until today.

It must be hormones because I can’t explain it. I started feeling melancholic. Not depressed or sad. Just… *sigh* Then I thought about how I wouldn’t receive flowers or even a card on Thursday and that made me sad.

But, as I am ever the optimist, I’ve decided to give myself a little V-day picker-upper and I’m sharing it with you. Well, you may not like what you see but I do! Maybe staring at his photo all night will make things better. I’m crossing my fingers. 🙂

Lee Pace

Dear Lee Pace, I love you.

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