“I wish I were pretty. I wish I were brave. If I owned this city, I’d make it behave.”
Wise words, Ms. Sara Bareilles. More than wishing to be pretty, I wish I were brave. Although, I was feeling rather insecure and ugly the other day. Kelly said that I’m the bravest person she’s known. I love you, Kell! You are very brave too, and kind and smart and pretty, and I’m very fortunate to call you my very good friend. 🙂
Earlier this week, I did something “brave”. I told a guy that I liked him. That’s a first for me. Granted that it was not face-to-face, I still felt sick to my stomach after I’d hit the send button. What was it that I wanted to achieve by exposing myself like that, you ask? Well, the objective of the exercise was to get out of my comfort zone. You know, seize the moment and just do it. Life is much too short for regrets and what ifs. (Yes, Frankie, let’s stay away from what ifs). I was not after a reciprocal response nor for a hook up. No. I don’t believe in hook ups because it’s just not me. I just wanted to put it out there and get it off my chest.
My friend, Net, said that she still thinks that there is no guy worthy of me. That is indeed a double-edged sword, if it were true. That means that I must be resigned to my fate of growing old alone. Actually, that’s fine by me. This is another form of brave. I’ve already made peace with this. In fact, I’m planning on building that retirement mansion for my single ladies out there. You know who you are. 😉
I have never been good at handling emotions, particularly my own. A few too many friends have told me to “watch my heart” or “stay away from heartbreak” and I appreciate their concern, but really, I’m fine. Strange as this may sound, I’m almost welcoming the little pain of heartache just to know that I’m still alive.
“But to wear one’s heart on one’s sleeve is a fairly certain way to have it broken, you know.” (Dear Jane Austen by Patrice Hannon)
Golly! I’m making this sound so serious and profound, but it’s not. Even typing this now is making me giggle a little. Yep, I am indeed alive and well and feeling a roller coaster of emotions day by day. That is a good sign.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, it’s time for more important things and no entry by me would be complete without photos. Here’s what I’ve been up to the last few days. Enjoy!
Female geos rock! Hanging out at Kelly’s and Trin’s place, having ice cream at 2am.
Coffee with Belle at QVB
Merry Christmas! (Photo by Mark)
Cheers! Here’s to singing our hearts out!
I ❤ my choir mates!