Or what I’ve learned about life from watching the X Files.

1. That it’s alright to believe in the unexplainable.

Come on. With David Duchovny giving so much life to his persona Agent Mulder, what’s not to believe? When he said aliens abducted his sister Samantha, I believed him. When he said little green (and as he so adroitly explained why it should be ‘gray’) men are out to do experiments on humans, I nodded my head. When he said the government is in cahoots with these extra terrestrials, I said, “YES!”

2. That it’s alright to be a skeptic.

I love Gillian Anderson/Agent Scully. She’s up there alongside Wonder Woman, and Ripley, and Buffy, and Sydney Bristow, and Nancy Drew as my idols. I didn’t want to be like her. I wanted to be HER. Her intelligence, her passion, her courage, and her unrelenting drive to find out the truth spoke volumes to me. She’s THE WOMAN.

3. That you cannot take things seriously all the time.

Hello, Small Potatoes. Hello, Rain King. Hello, Dreamland.

4. That knowing the future can be as helpful as stepping on a freshly baked pie.

Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose is one of my favorite episodes in the entire series. That is saying a lot since I have so many favorites. It’s right up there in my pantheon of ultimate favorites. Along with Ice. And Small Potatoes.

5. That you can never have too much dog food.

Good boy, Queequeg!

6. That spending Christmas inside a haunted house with your partner can be loads of fun.

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas beats any Christmas TV movie hands down.

7. That it pays to have nerdy friends.

The Lone Gunmen (how oxymoronic, I know) should be in my speed dial, I swear.

8. That cerulean blue is the best shade of blue in town.

Oh Pusher. A Jedi, were you?

9. That you don’t merely say “lots of files” to refer to, well, lots of files. You say, “lots and *lots* of files”.

Paper Clip, I thank you for the stress on “lots”.

10. That getting stuck in the Bermuda Triangle can be fun . . . that is, if you find yourself traveling back in time. Back in WWII. Then again, maybe it’s not fun at all.

There’s that kiss in the shadows followed by a right hand punch by Scully. You go, girl!

11. That you always, *always* follow the regulations in your neighborhood.

Or else. Arcadia happens.

12. That crazy, aggressive worms is never a good sign.

One word: ICE.

13. That writers, especially the introverted ones, can be dangerous.

Beware Philip Padgett and the might of his pen. . .er, typewriter. (but he’s mysteriously cute, no? Maybe it’s just me).

14. That the pizza guy is out to get you.

Or bite you, as in the case of Bad Blood.

15. “That the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.”

Who doesn’t love a little bit of rain? Or hail? Or cyclone? Thank you, Rain King.

Well, that’s what my mind can come up with given the little time that I have (I still have pending work to do, goshdarnit). What’s with the sudden throwback to the best TV show ever, you ask? Well, talking about television in class and showing my students a brief scene from the X-Files have brought back pleasant memories. So here I am, recalling the days of old, the age of innocence. Back when actors didn’t have to undress on primetime TV to get noticed. Back when it’s perfectly alright to not have a clear ending (what ending??!). Back when intelligence was a pre-requisite to truly enjoying a fabulous TV show.

I miss the X Files.